Captain Jack Sparrow takes the stand at the Johnny Depp / Amber Heard trial, testifying to the tune of the famous Sea Shanty, The Wellerman.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this video are not necessarilty my own, but those I would imagine belonging to the fictional character Captain Jack Sparrow that was ordered off Wish. This video is also in no way made to undermine those who are victims of domestic violence, but rather a tongue & cheek take on a very absurd defamation case.

Domestic violence hotlines: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines

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Lyrics:

There once was a girl who made a turd
on the bed & her name was Amber Heard
She made stuff up, to bring Johnny down
So off to court they go

Soon may the verdict come
That Amber’s lying out her bum
We’ll drink a mega pint of rum
When Johnny’s free to go

It wasn’t enough to soil the bed
she cut off his finger & bashed his head
on the door and yet she still said
she could never hurt him, so

Soon may the verdict come
That Amber’s lying out her bum
We’ll drink a mega pint of rum
When Johnny’s free to go

Objection heresay all day long
Ambers lawyers can find no wrong
Johnny hits the drink & a massive bong
But did he hit her though? No

Soon may the verdict come
That Amber’s lying out her bum
We’ll drink a mega pint of rum
When Johnny’s free to go

Amber in a desperate plea
Told a very sad story
Of how her dog got stung by a bee
“My dog got stung by a bee”

Lie lie, la lie lie lie, la lie lie lie

The moral of this weird story
is don’t marry a celebrity
I think that we can all agree
it’s a literal sh*tshow

I know that it might not make sense
But it shows domestic violence
is not an exclusive offence
committed just by blokes, so

Soon may the verdict come
That Amber’s lying out her bum
We’ll drink a mega pint of rum
When Johnny’s free to go

So who did lose and who did win?
The jury’s verdict has come in.
To no surprise it has always been
The lawyers makin’ dough

So now that the verdict’s come
I think we all knew from day one
that Amber lied straight out her bum
but Johnny’s free to go
and the lawyers made their dough
and Amber put on quite the show


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#JohnnyDepp #AmberHeard #KateMoss #Wellerman #justiceforjohnnydepp