Laconic humor was the term invented specifically to describe the dry, biting wit of the Spartan people. We personally think it’s a little unfair that pop culture has mainly portrayed the Spartans as a bunch of ass-kicking, throat-ripping slabs of beef. Though that description is entirely correct, it ignores the fact that the Spartan’s were also masters of verbal combat along with the regular, sweaty kind.

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Text version: http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-witty-badass-quotes-ancient-sparta.php

Coming up:

10. “What Splendid Women’s Quarters”
9. “These Are Sparta’s Walls”
8. “Come and Take Them”
7. “If”
6. “Neither”
5. “With It or On It!”
4. “It Will Be the Size of a Lion When I Bore Down On My Enemies.”
3. “Dig It Out For Yourselves”
2. “So That We May Get Close to the Enemy”
1. “Because We are Also the Only Ones Who Give Birth to Men”

Source/Further reading:

http://www.ancientgreekbattles.net/Pages/47931_Spartaquotes.htm
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=fyUJoZ8oPVEC&pg=PT164&lpg=PT164&dq=Apophthegmata+Laconica++molon+labe&source=bl&ots=HezEeqN9JI&sig=GOxEYyipZSLZB2BCkndwIzTIebo&hl=en&sa=X&ei=QWX7UoeAEMmX0AWe4YHQDA&ved=0CGYQ6AEwCA#v=onepage&q=Apophthegmata%20Laconica%20%20molon%20labe&f=false
http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A2008.01.0288%3Asection%3D17
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=SYo6c1iEL_4C&pg=PA85&lpg=PA85&dq=Philip+of+Macedon+friend+or+as+a+foe%22Neither%22+sparta&source=bl&ots=04VI8Y8or8&sig=NUlYbn2QgM6FbwKUv_paIipXmyk&hl=en&sa=X&ei=r6f6UvDSBYHO0AXohoGQBQ&ved=0CEUQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q=Philip%20of%20Macedon%20friend%20or%20as%20a%20foe%22Neither%22%20sparta&f=false
http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Plutarch/Moralia/Sayings_of_Spartan_Women*.html
http://www.pbs.org/empires/thegreeks/background/8c_p1.html
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=_9KIlygWvFQC&pg=PA40&lpg=PA40&dq=Spartan+Fly+shield&source=bl&ots=7209a0Anid&sig=xdOm7Ij3zkfzNlGIGxWQqRy61Ds&hl=en&sa=X&ei=Iqj6UoHgGsW90QWGp4DICA&ved=0CF0Q6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=Spartan%20Fly%20shield&f=false
http://www.battle-of-thermopylae.eu/main_greek_preparations.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkWS9PiXekE
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=DD84AAAAIAAJ&pg=PA269&lpg=PA269&dq=spartan+short+sword+So+that+we+may+get+close+to+the+enemy&source=bl&ots=tKWhTl9LtW&sig=Gu-YIOGJVmSY_w0KDt9GOKkWSPc&hl=en&sa=X&ei=Zqn6UsGaM6fP0QWhwoC4Bw&ved=0CC8Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=spartan%20short%20sword%20So%20that%20we%20may%20get%20close%20to%20the%20enemy&f=false
http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Plutarch/Moralia/Sayings_of_Spartans*/main.html
http://www.oocities.org/athens/aegean/7849/spwomen.html
http://www.ancientgreekbattles.net/Pages/47931_Spartaquotes.htm