ESPNcricinfo’s Jarrod Kimber and Andrew Miller try to bring some festive cheer as England are once again embarrassed by Australia on day one of the third Ashes Test.

0:00 Is Scott Boland the budget Peter Siddle?
0:38 Should England be allowed home for winning the next toss?
1:25 When do England lose Test status?
2:36 Is Mark Wood really the man in Australia?
3:05 How many runs would Root score vs. England?
4:13 Is this England or the West Indies?
4:46 Will the Test make it to day four?

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