Narcissistic mothers control their children by using guilt as a weapon against them. Although there are many emotional weapons, guilt and shame are amongst the top tactics, narcissistic mothers choose to manipulate their daughters.

As children of narcissistic mothers, we can learn to set boundaries
and reclaim our lives.

Narcissistic mothers also abuse their sons, however, the dynamic between a mother and daughter seems to present with some troubling blindspots many of us miss. It is possible that mothers transfer abuse they experienced in their own childhoods down to their daughters.

Narcissistic mothers hijack their daughter's emotions, thoughts and sometimes physical bodies. NM are emotional manipulators that use words to cripple the way their daughters think and feel. Narcissistic Mothers are unable to 'see-hear-value' their daughters as individuals with rights to think and feel on their own.

When a daughter begins to set boundaries, the Narcissistic Mother will go on full attack. She will curse at the daughter, judge the daughter, criticize the daughter and sometimes fake being ill just to gain the daughter's attention.

The goal of a narcissistic mother is to annihilate her daughter's ability to think independent thoughts. Some NM manipulate their daughters to depend on them for lifetimes--crippling the daughter's self-esteem--and any ability to live life on her own without mommy dearest looming overhead. This style of control--allows the NM to stay in la-la land--where she does have to face herself--or her own issues. As long as the focus stays on the daughter--mommy dearest never has to look within--as she has no connection to her own soul.

Other narcissistic mothers use guilt and condemnation to control their daughters. Hidden jealousy for the daughter. drives them to obsess about where the daughter is, what she is doing, and with whom--and so on and so on. Conflicted within, the NM has a difficult time hiding her envy for her daughter and in moments of heightened anxiety--mommy dearest will explode on the daughter and twist words to the point that the daughter begins to feel like she deserved the wrath of her unstable mother.

It is sad, unfair and twisted...but we as daughters must learn how to mother ourselves in proper ways if we are to break the cycles in our lifetimes.
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