On February 3, 1981, Rodney Dangerfield, the king of one-liners, stopped by the Tonight Show to share some laughs with Johnny Carson, the king of late night.

1:32 “I got hit by a car. I told the guy, ‘Are you blind?’ He said, ‘I hit you, didn’t I?’”
2:17 “What a childhood I had. My mother never breastfed me. She always had a headache.”
4:50 “I’m not sexy at all. I went to the sperm bank. They used my sperm to get a woman pregnant. They had to get her drunk first.”
6:25 “I have no sex life. The only sex I have is when my doctor tells me to cough.”

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