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On Today's Episode:

There are some statistics that report 1 in 4 women have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner, while other stats report more than 40% of women in emotionally abusive relationships.

When you think of dating and being in a relationship with a romantic partner, Dr. Ramani reminds us in this episode that safety should be a high priority and concern. Neglecting the importance of safety and disregarding red flags that she and Lisa discuss in this episode can easily lead to patterns and behaviors that are unwanted, unsafe, and painful to escape with time.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a repeat guest and favorite on Women of Impact. She’s a clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic traits and behaviors.

This conversation is about breaking the silence and helping women to reclaim the power we’ve lost and handed over to the wrong people in our lives.

“Evil enters like a needle and spreads like an oak tree” - Dr. Ramani

Check out Dr. Ramani’s new podcast, Navigating Narcissism: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/navigating-narcissism-with-dr-ramani/id1629909313

Take a look at Dr. Ramani’s Monthly Healing Program: https://doctor-ramani.teachable.com/p/taking-yourself-back-healing-from-narcissistic-antagonistic-relationships

SHOW NOTES:

0:00 | Introduction to Dr. Ramani
0:07 | Questions That Raise Red Flags
6:54 | Are They Really Interested?
10:02 | Know Your Personal Red Flags
16:16 | How Narcissists Test Easy Targets
19:28 | Narcissistic Love Is This…
28:14 | Narcissists Don’t Support Your Success
35:24 | A Relationship Based in Fear
39:30 | Being Crushed by Narcissists
45:25 | Losing “Friends” to Narcissistic Lies
52:38 | Recognize the Isolation Game
56:33 | How to End A Narcissistic Relationship
1:00:03 | Who Gets Sucked In By Narcissists?
1:03:44 | Narcissistic Family Systems
1:07:18 | Helping Someone in Narcissistic Relationship
1:16:17 | What Works For Your Dating Life?
1:23:07 | Stop Giving Your Power Away!

QUOTES:

“It’s almost less of what the narcissist is doing and more of the story we’re telling ourselves about what they are doing.” [0:42]

“What narcissistic people are really skilled at is learning everything about you so they can outplay you.” [6:16]

“For all the damn time people spend in gyms, I would love it if people would actually spend time strengthening their boundaries.” [9:24]

“My red flags aren’ always someone else’s. Sure there’s the universal ones, but beyond that they tend to be really personal.” [13:02]

“For a narcissistic person it’s a very shallow experience. It’s about validation, it’s about attention, it’s about admiration, it’s about short-term pleasure, […] that’s what they mean by love.” [19:48]

“When we talk about love, we talk about romance, we talk about fun, we talk about sex, what we don’t talk enough abut is safety.” [24:35]

“You’ve got to judge the relationship on those bad days, not the good days, and too many people judge narcissistic relationship on the good days.” [27:01]

“I’d argue that fear is the heart of the narcissistic relationship, [...] you’re constantly afraid of doing, or saying, or being the wrong thing.” [35:32]

“Don’t go D.E.E.P., [...] don’t defend, don’t engage, don’t explain, and don’t personalize.” [40:57]

“Friends and other social relationships are an essential part of a healthy human being.” [53:42]

“As their friend and supporter you can’t get invested in the outcome. All you can be invested in is being a good friend to them. [1:10:24]

“Different people make different deals with the devil.” [1:10:53]

“The world has suffered from people being so crushed by these relationships.” [1:25:38]

Follow Dr. Ramani Durvasula:
Website: http://doctor-ramani.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorRamanDurvasula
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DoctorRamani
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doctorramani
Podcast: http://doctor-ramani.com/podcasts-feat-dr-ramani/