Dr. Doug Weiss, licensed psychologist and author, has helped thousands of couples deal with sex addiction for over 30 years. In this video, the doctor discusses the defensive but controlling strategy known as D.A.R.V.O.

Being married or in a relationship with a sex addict isn’t easy, especially when trying to discuss the issues of their sex addiction. However, in the process of doing so, many are subjected to a manipulative strategy by the other in order to avoid the confrontation.

D.A.R.V.O stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse, Victim, and Offender Role.
As the spouse/significant other confronts the sex addict, the individual first denies their behavior and the issue. They then attack the confronter with criticism and accuses them of being controlling. The person takes control of the conversation and reverses it so they are the victim and their partner is the offender.

In dealing with this strategy, remember to stay in reality. If they’re not wanting to be responsible about the issue, you don’t need to discuss it with them at the moment. Until they choose to be mature, they will turn the conversation back at you and that’s not healthy. If you know it’s not going to be healthy, don’t participate.

This situation may come up often as a couple moves from dysfunction to hopefully healthy and functional. However, remember that during this time of the recovery process, don’t be alone. Have good encouraging people to support you. Focus on your healing as well.

For more information on Partner Betrayal Trauma®, go to https://partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/

For the Partner Betrayal Trauma DVD, visit: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-dvd/
For the Partner Betrayal Trauma book, visit:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/

For the Helping Her Heal, DVD, visit: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/helping-her-heal-dvd/

For information on marriage counseling and intensives, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/counseling/

For a full list of Dr. Doug’s products, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/store/

For more information on Sex Addiction, go to www.sexaddict.com

To download our free app that has tons of useful content on sex addiction and purity, go to: https://www.drdougweiss.com/our-app/

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, “Partner Betrayal Trauma™”.

You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, https://www.drdougweiss.com/ or on his Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drdougweiss/
by phone at 719-278-3708
or through email at heart2heart@xc.org