Do you ever feel overly responsible for other peoples feelings or struggle with a high degree of guilt or shame? In this video I will discuss a CBT technique called the responsibility pie, which helps reduce feelings of guilt and shame.

Let's start by looking at an example, Mary works full time and also cares for her disabled husband, Kevin. Due to chronic pain Kevin is usually low. After a stressful day at work Mary arrived home and noticed Kevin looked low. Mary shouted "I've had enough, I can't cope anymore?" Kevin started to cry. Mary felt tremendously guilty that her husband cried and believed she was 100% responsible.  To help Mary gain some perspective she made a responsibility pie. She make a list of all the things that might have contributed to Kevin crying for example:

* Kevins in chronic pain
* He doesn't have any interests or hobbies
* Adult children never visit
* I work long hours and I'm tired all the time
* I shouted at Kevin

Mary then assigned slices of the pie to each identified person or factor that could have contributed to Kevin crying. For Kevins chronic pain Mary allocated 30%. For the fact he has no interests or hobbies 10%. For their adult children never visiting 10%. For Mary working long hours and the associated tiredness 20% and finally Mary's shouting (30%)

Via completing a responsibility pie Mary could see that she was not 100% responsible for Kevin crying but 30% responsible. She could she that she was trying her best in very difficult circumstances, with no help or support from others. So this exercise enabled Mary to see the bigger picture and disrupt the cycle of guilt and blame.

The responsibility pie exercise is not designed to always reduce guilt. Sometimes it's healthy to feel guilty about what you have done. But if you find yourself frequently feeling overly responsible for the feelings or actions of others this exercise can be helpful.

🔵 CBT BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

☐ The Clinician's Guid to CBT Using Mind Over Mood by Christine A. Padesky. Please click on the link to buy from Amazon: https://amzn.to/409z8ko

☐ Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky. Please click on the link to buy from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Hi7lp9

☐ Cognitive Behavioural Therapist Basics and Beyond by Judith Beck. Please click on the link to buy from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3RfTN2f

🔵 ABOUT TERESA LEWIS

Teresa Lewis is the founder and Director of Lewis Psychology and a Senior Accredited psychotherapist with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP Snr. Accred). Qualified in 1995, Teresa has been providing counselling and psychotherapy treatment for nearly 30 years. Teresa holds a masters degree in counselling and psychotherapy and is a qualified EMDR Practitioner having completed training accredited with EMDR Europe. Teresa is also a qualified adult educator and an accredited Mindfulness teacher As a recognised expert in her field Teresa is frequently asked to conduct editorial reviews and endorse counselling and psychotherapy books for international publishing houses.

☐ Find out more here: https://www.lewispsy.org.uk/about-us/the-founders/

🔵 WORK WITH ME

If you'd like to work with me, or a member of the Lewis Psychology team, please click on the links below:

☐ Lewis Psychology CIC (for face to face therapy): https://www.lewispsy.org.uk
☐ Lewis Psychology Online (for online therapy): https://lewispsyonline.co.uk

🔵 GRAPHICS AND THUMBNAIL

Thumbnail and B-Roll graphics by Teresa Lewis. B-Roll video is used in strict compliance with the appropriate permissions and licenses required from Pexels.com in accordance with the YouTube Partner Program, Community guidelines and YouTube terms of service.

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