You've been in a relationship for a while, you love them, things may have been great. But when you find out that your spouse has been watching pornography, it can be painful, even traumatizing. The question "Why?" is echoes in your mind as you try to rationalize the reasoning behind it. You may even question all of who they are.

You're hurt and it's legit. Your heart and sexuality have been wounded. Your trust has been violated. However, all those can be restored. You can heal.

In this path of recovery lies forgiveness. Forgiveness of your significant other is more than a choice, it's a process. It may not be easy, it may take time. But it is possible. However, that depends on you.

Forgiveness is different than trust. You may not give yourself fully to them. But you don't hold their action against them. You forgiving prevents you from being bitter and toxic.

Your significant other may choose to change and overcome the habit. They may choose not to as well. Regardless of their choices, you have the choice to get healing for yourself. It takes both support from other people and you being intentional with your work.

Don't compare yourself to the images they watched. Don't belittle yourself because of their actions and don't isolate yourself.

We have a variety of resources available from counseling to polygraphs, books and DVDs to support groups. You are not alone on your journey. If you open up, you can receive the healing you need.

For more information on Partner Betrayal Trauma®, go to https://partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/

For the DVD, Partner Betrayal Trauma, go to: https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-dvd/

For the book, Partner Betrayal Trauma, go to:
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/

For the Partners of Sex Addicts Facebook group for women, go to:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

For the Partners of Sex Addicts Facebook group for men, go to:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/

For telephone and local support groups, go to: https://www.drdougweiss.com/groups/

For information on marriage counseling and intensives, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/counseling/

For a full list of Dr. Doug’s products, visit: https://www.drdougweiss.com/store/

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including "Intimacy Anorexia®."

You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, https://www.drdougweiss.com/ or on his Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drdougweiss/
by phone at 719-278-3708
or through email at heart2heart@xc.org