You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. We all have techniques we depend on to lift our spirits when we’re feeling down about ourselves or our lives. Getting help from others is only one part of the equation. We also need to be able to validate, support, and help ourselves. Odds are, you aren’t always looking for someone’s advice or opinion when you come to them with a painful story. You’re looking for them to confirm you didn’t do anything wrong—or if you did, that you’re not a bad person for it. When you’re looking for that warm, fuzzy feeling that emerges when someone you trust tells you, “Everything is going to be okay,” imagine yourself saying it to your younger self. Essentially, you’re looking for someone else to see the best in you and believe in you. Give yourself what you’re seeking from them before making that call. Then by all means, make it if you want to. The goal isn’t to stop reaching out to others. It’s to be there for yourself. The words you want to hear from someone else will be far more powerful if you fully believe what they’re saying.

Chetan Bhagat is a celebrated Best-selling author, a columnist, motivational speaker as well as a Youtuber, just to name a few. With the talk titled, ‘Live for Yourself’, he pressed the need to love yourself before loving others as none of those very people are gonna pay your bills, thus eradicating the need to impress others. Relating with his personal experiences, he has shown how switching a high-paying, lucrative job following one’s passion is still considered a taboo in India, that too in the (advanced) 21st century. He has effectively ditched the term ‘Selfish’ for ‘Self-care’. Mr. Chetan’s talk has every spice in the right amount as he hasn’t shied away from sharing his life’s journey including severe weight fluctuations in the COVID times, societal taunts directed for his unconventional life-path - altogether punched with a distinctive sense of humour!
Author, Writer & Entrepreneur This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx