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Watch more How to Be a Better You videos: http://www.howcast.com/videos/501439-How-to-Overcome-Shyness-Better-You



Well, the best way to recognize if you're shy is that you're going to have an extreme focus on yourself. You'll be more focused on you than your environment and you'll be more focused on you than the people around you. Most likely you will dread any type of interaction or connection with another person. Even though you most likely really long for that.

The biggest problem that a shy person has is that they label themselves as shy. When we label ourselves as shy, we act like a shy person would. People don't naturally gravitate towards a shy person because we can feel their discomfort. The best thing to do that you can do is to challenge yourself by going into social situations that you either know somebody that you trust, that you can really rely on to help you overcome that initial first step, which is always the most difficult. Or you can really put the focus onto somebody else.

The great news for a shy person is that people are so self-absorbed, they love to talk about themselves. So all you need to do is ask a question as simple or easy as "How was your day?"

The other person will start talking and you can be more focused on them than you. Sooner or later, you will find that the only reason why you are shy is because you thought that you were. There's not necessarily a strategy for a small group or for a large group, but I think that when there's a bigger group of people for a shy person, that situation is naturally overwhelming instead of maybe to deal with the seven, which can seem manageable, dealing with 20 or 30 or 50 can seem completely overwhelming.

That's where you're really want to focus on your breathing and you want to break the room down. What I mean by that is that you just have to focus on the person who's in front of you. Set yourself up for some kind of challenge and then a reward. No matter how many people are at this event tonight, I'm going to speak with three people. Create your intentions before you go to the events. I'm going to have a meaningful conversation. I know for myself, when I used to go out to all the bars and all the clubs before I was engaged, I always had the intention to have a meaningful conversation. I didn't care if it was with a bartender or a girl in the bathroom or a guy who was trying to hit on me. It was this idea of really wanting to make a deep and meaningful connection in a place where people don't usually have deep and meaningful connections.