What’s good youtube? Todays video is about friends with benefits. If and how dyou can grow that into a full blown relationship.

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I’d like to start off by saying that a lot of women write me and say they are in a friends with benefits situation when no real friendship is established. Many times they are just some mans bed warmer. And it makes them feel a bit better to call themselves friends with benefits. Other times they catch feelings for a maintenance man when he hasn’t realized that anything more is wanted or even possible. Even still their are other instances in which one of the parties expresses the desire for more only to be rejected.

What I find disturbing about this usually is how loosely people use the word friends. Some of you have to learn to be honest with yourselves. Are you really friends or are you just some girl he’s piping down. The difference is tremendous.

My first piece of advice to anyone looking to build something substantial out of a friends with benefits situation would be to first make sure that a true and genuine friendship established. An F buddy isn’t the same as a friend with benefits. You need to care about each other. There needs to be some emotional investment. Once a real friendship is established the situation has a bit more hope to grow into something more. Not much though.

The issue the plagues real friends with benefits is the fact the person who wants more is usually trying to use those benefits to get out of the friend zone. They feel like they can leverage the benefits to grow the relationship. And while it’s true that improving your position in the normal friend zone requires you to get that other person to recognize you as a more sexual being. If they already see you that way and still won’t commit to a relationship then their reluctancy is more mental or psychological. They may not even know why they don’t want more from you. And because you’ve already physically seduced them you very little leverage to change how they feel.

Your best bet in this case is get control of yourself. Create a physical distance and hope they start to miss your company. Hope that they start to wonder who’s loving you. Hope they start to call you to just hang out again and start giving you more of their time. Try to create a need in them to fix your relationship.

A need to restore the closeness. While they’re pursuing that improvement employ a few mental seduction tactics while maintaining that new non sexual relationship. Be aloof. Mysterious. Treat them like a guy you just started dating who you aren’t really sure if you’re into. Make them wander if they loss their place with you. Appear to have other interests. Be unavailable one minute and attentive the next. Dress to kill when you hang out. Smell nice. Keep the hugs short. Sit further away than you used to. Be ambiguous about your feelings. Master the art of being so close yet so far away. If they really cared about you as a friend then the new confusion you cause may make them wonder about you more. The more a man thinks about you the more he starts to like you. He may start to miss not only the friendship but the physical connection you had. It’s plausible that in pursuing a better and restored friendship with you he’ll realize he had more to lose than he thought in you. You will have tricked his mind into pursuing you and not the other way around.

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