Stop saying GOOD JOB to your child and Praise WISELY! | The problem with praise

For over a decade Carol Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford University and her team studied the effects of praise on students.
Dr Dweck wanted to look at how subtle difference in the way that they were praised effects the students mindset and performance.

Saying “Good job” to your child may not be the best praise phrase. It may even be harmful.

In this video, I talk about what happens within children when we say empty compliments like “good job”, as well as what happens when we praise their efforts.
I give you examples of situations where you’d typically say “good job!” or give some form of praise to your child, and I’ll share some simple phrases you can say instead.


// References //

MONTESSORI AT HOME: The problem with praise (+ What to say instead!)
https://youtu.be/V-ZXOc1CaS8

Stop Saying Good Job
https://youtu.be/JwCYQSnSWGM

Carol Dweck - A Study on Praise and Mindsets
https://youtu.be/NWv1VdDeoRY

Carol Dweck on "Process praise"
https://youtu.be/kqJbXjOoOGc

Developing a Growth Mindset with Carol Dweck
https://youtu.be/hiiEeMN7vbQ

Parental praise and children’s exploration: a virtual reality experiment (2022)
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-08226-9#citeas

How to Praise Your Children (2007)
https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/social/how-to-praise-your-children/

Praise vs. Acknowledgment in a Montessori Home (2019)
https://www.montessoriinreallife.com/home/2019/4/29/praise-vs-acknowledgment

The effects of praise: 7 evidence-based tips for using praise wisely (2019)
https://parentingscience.com/effects-of-praise/

Parenting: Don't Praise Your Children!
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-power-prime/200909/parenting-dont-praise-your-children

Are You Overpraising Your Child? (2020)
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/13/parenting/praising-children.html

Good Job: Why It’s Not Used in the Montessori Classroom (2021)
https://msosv.com/2021/06/08/good-job-why-its-not-used-in-the-montessori-classroom/

Montessori alternatives to praise (2020)
https://themontessorifamily.com/montessori-alternatives-to-praise/

Five Reasons to Stop Saying “Good Job!” (2001)
https://www.alfiekohn.org/article/five-reasons-stop-saying-good-job/

A MONTESSORI APPROACH TO PRAISE (2017)
https://livingmontessorinow.com/a-montessori-approach-to-praise/#:~:text=Montessorians%20try%20to%20give%20encouragement,put%20away%20all%20the%20dishes.%E2%80%9D&text=4.,themselves%20and%20gain%20self%2Dconfidence.

Why Good Job is Harmful (2019)
https://reachformontessori.com/why-good-job-is-harmful/

Robichaud, JM., Grenier, F., Joussemet, M. et al. The Role of Descriptive and Non-Specific Outcome-Oriented Praise in Child Self-Esteem: A Multiphase, Multimethod Investigation. J Child Fam Stud (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-022-02449-0

Brummelman, E., Grapsas, S. & van der Kooij, K. Parental praise and children’s exploration: a virtual reality experiment. Sci Rep 12, 4967 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-08226-9

Gunderson, E. A., Sorhagen, N. S., Gripshover, S. J., Dweck, C. S., Goldin-Meadow, S., & Levine, S. C. (2018). Parent praise to toddlers predicts fourth grade academic achievement via children’s incremental mindsets. Developmental Psychology, 54(3), 397–409. https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0000444

Brummelman, E., Grapsas, S. & van der Kooij, K. Parental praise and children’s exploration: a virtual reality experiment. Sci Rep 12, 4967 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-08226-9

Brummelman, E. Psychological Perspectives on Praise. (2020). https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429327667


//CONNECT:
○ Instagram - @hazieandmotherhood
○ Business Inquiries - montessorifiedlifeforyou@gmail.com


***NOTE: All videos on this channel are NOT intended for viewing by children. These videos are intended for legal adults only.