I'll be showing you how to present like me on this week's episode of MasterTalk. Visit rockstarcommunicator.com to attend one of my FREE LIVE trainings.

1. Be the perfect case study of your own ideas whenever possible. (1:06)

Brene does a fascinating thing that most decorated speakers do not do; which is talk about why she didn’t want her ideas to be true. It’s quite unique to her speaking style. Most of us go yeah our ideas are the best, you should listen to us like me with public speaking, but when Brene, after years of researching found out that extreme and authentic vulnerability is the key to living a great life, she goes what. I’m a Texan, this is not what I wanted as an answer and proceeds to talk about the and I quote “yearlong street fight” that she had with vulnerability and admitting defeat to her own ideas through a therapist she worked with.

I found that very powerful. That ability to disagree with your own ideas and trying to fight them in a middle of her presentation, but she pulled it off so powerfully by explaining how, ultimately, vulnerability was something she had to admit as one of the major aspects of leading a great life.

From the audience’s perspective, it makes us believe that wow, even the person who’s communicating these ideas had difficulty implementing them in their life, which means I can do this too, and that additional effort that Brene took here was admirable since she didn’t need to do that, so the lesson here is to think about ways that you can implement your own struggles with your own ideas, I do this by talking about how hard it was for me to practice my own exercises, but figuring it out eventually so you can find ways to sprinkle that into your speeches too.

2. Paint the negative consequences of not implementing your own ideas. (3:37)

Out of all the speakers I’ve seen in my life, Brene is one of the best at describing what happens the ideas in her talk don’t get implemented. When we numb vulnerability, we pay the ultimate price for it. We use substances, distractions, medications to get rid of the pain, but we can’t do it selectively. If we make the decision to numb ourselves, we end up feeling nothing at all. Our joy, our love, our passion for others gets taken away with the pain and we’re left with nothing. It creates a dangerous cycle.

It’s almost as if Brene is this concerned parent for all of us, and is sitting us down one on one in the same she did with her 1000’s of interviews and research with the following statement, we need to talk.

The lesson here is that you don’t need to scream at your audiences and be aggressive and tell them you need to change, but rather, comment on the impending doom if we don’t take life into our own hands in the same way that with public speaking, if you decide not to change, it’s not just about presentations, you won’t have the courage to have the hard conversation, you won’t have the skills to inspire the people around you to follow your ideas and you won’t make the change that you’re supposed to make, so find that doomsday scenario in your ideas.

3. Empathy is the most important quality of any world class speaker. (6:11)

Not many people know this, but Brene spent her whole life in social work, as you can imagine that doesn’t pay a lot of money, most people in the field do it for connection, belonging and above all, helping other people. Brene’s incredible way of communicating her ideas isn’t an accident. She’s personally conducted 1000’s of interviews, listened to 1000’s of people tell their stories, and presented countless amount of ideas to get to the level that she is today. Why does she put in that much work? Because she cares a lot more than anyone else in that field, caring enough to figure out how to take qualitative research and summarize it perfectly, caring enough to spend those extra nights without her family to get everything perfectly measured, caring enough to the people that she’s met that have no clue what a PhD is. This is what it means to be a world class speaker, to have the humility and empathy to say, most people won’t understand the research, most people won’t read my research papers, but most people need my help, so what will I choose to do?

As always, if you enjoyed this week’s episode of MasterTalk, be sure to SMASH that LIKE button and SUBSCRIBE to the YouTube channel to see more videos like this and if you know anyone who is a fan of Brene’s work or is struggling for any reason, send them this video so that they’ll be one step closer to stepping into who they’re supposed to be.

For business or public speaking coaching inquiries, you can reach me at brendenkbusiness@gmail.com.

Special thanks to Maison Leporem for letting me use the space.
https://maisonleporem.com/