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Assertiveness is a form of communication. You need to have ready assertive responses for using them in different situations. Practice them over and over again, till they become second nature, then use them appropriately. The most important part of using these phrases is the tone in which you say them, the tone should be a confident tone, if you raise your voice, you sound aggressive, if you lower your voice, you sound submissive.

1. Dealing with Aggressive people:
Aggressive generally do 3 thingsBlame:
Assertive response: Trying to blame isn't going to resolve this situation, is it?
Offensive:
I find that comment offensive..
Angry out of control
Let's talk, when you have calmed down a bit. or I too want to listen to you, but not like this.

2. When you have made a mistake: don't feel small / don't allow others to manipulate
Assertive response: Sir, how do you expect me to learn without making mistakes
or Sir, how would have you handled this, I want to learn from your experience.

3. Criticism
can be done abusive / angryAssertive reponse: I am sorry, this sounds more like abuse than genuine criticism.OR Can you give me specific examples, where and how I went wrong and what should have been done?

4. Unreasonable request not your priority / don't want to do /You have been asked to stay late hours and you have to pick up your parents from the airport.
Assertive reponse
No, I will not be able to stay late as I have to pick up my parents
But, this report is very important and it has to be completed by tomorrow morning.
I understand this report is very important and I have to pick up my parents
Keep repeating: This is also known as the broken record technique.

5. Conflict at work at home
use I messages Communicate problems without escalating conflict Statement about yourself Focus on a feeling States a problem without blame Begins with "I..."
"I am uncomfortable with this."
"I felt embarrassed when..."
You messages increase the conflict