In the immortal words of Harry Redknapp, people want goalkeepers that don’t make mistakes - and they don’t exist. We need to start from this standpoint or the entire business of providing a critique could be misrepresented as a series of ill-informed snipes. After all, not everyone who scores against us is merely some guy who was gifted a goal by our man Hugo.

Against Arsenal yesterday, sadly we got another catastrophic error, another moment of unfathomable awkwardness that resulted in another goal being conceded.

In the following video, we see precisely what happened on each goal and my findings are thus; Hugo isn’t to blame for every goal, but he is to blame for too many, given the level at which he expected to play.

The second is; as with the debate over whether it’s Conte’s fault or Levy’s, there is plenty of blame to go around. Eric Dier and Ryan Sessegnon aren’t good enough to be in this squad, or what this squad ought to be.

If, in our mind’s eye, we sack Tony and retire Hugo, the next poor bastards through the door aren’t going to suddenly be just fine with fundamentally stupid footballers at their disposal.

This leads us to this business of coaching. I keep seeing unworldly people suggesting that Mourinho and Conte are no longer capable of nurturing talent. Dinosaurs, if you will.

Newsflash: Neither coach has ever advertised themselves as being in the ‘transformation’ business. Indeed, the idea that football coaches are somehow like elite security dog trainers, is essentially ridiculous. Some men simply cannot be reached.

I’d assure you that every player that came to Spurs and did well… was on an upward trajectory anyway. A coach can only seek to help a player hone his craft, but they cannot polish up a piece of poop.

Now Conte may be making errors tactically, and he might also be guilty of irrationally refusing to play Djed Spence, I don’t know about these issues with complete certainty.

What I do know, is that Sessegnon should be flipping burgers somewhere, and Eric Dier would probably make a good binman.

Any goalkeeper or coach with players as essentially dangerous as these two wrapped around them is a goalkeeper or coach that has been handicapped.

The case against Lloris is more nuanced than simply continued blunders. As captain, he’s clearly a political appointment. For me, Hojbjerg ought to wear the armband, but I digress.

Also, he’s begging to be churned, along with Dier. Both have been with us forever and have won nothing.

I hope this helps.

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